Funniest Jokes

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and enquired of his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." 

Well, the boy thought about that for a moment, and settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks they went in to the study, where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, and participating a lot more in the Bible study groups. But, I'm real disappointed, since you haven't gotten your hair cut." 

The young man paused a moment, and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair also." To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"  

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, ' I bet any minute now some senior citizen is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' 

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked
"What are you sellin' here?" 

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assh*les." 

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You're doing well. Only two left."

A blonde signs up for research project testing “smart” pills.

Amazingly, the pills work and the blonde becomes smarter. So she dyes her hair and becomes a brunette.

One day, she is out driving in the country and spots a farmer in his field with his sheep. She decides to test out her new-found smartness, so she stops and walks up to the farmer.

She says, “If I can correctly guess how many sheep you have in your field, can I have one of them?”

The farmer, thinking it was a safe bet, says, “Sure.”

She says, “578.”

The farmer says, “Wow, that is correct. I guess you can pick out your sheep.”

So, the blonde picks out a sheep and puts it in the trunk of her car.

But before she can pull away, the farmer says, “Wait. If I can guess your original hair color, can I have my dog back?”.


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