Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80
year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be
able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and
hurts. I have to go over and over again."
The 85 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I
could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my
hands on and it's still a problem."
Then the 90 year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00
am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am, I have a great bowel
movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up
before 7:00 am.
A woman wakes up during the night, and her husband isn't in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him and finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought,
just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes
a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks: "Why are you down here at
this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee and says: "Do you remember 20 years
ago, when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car
making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife: lowering herself into a chair
beside him.
"Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said: "Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says: "I would have gotten out today."
There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was driving when a police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and says "Did you know you were speeding back there."
The lady (who is almost deaf) said to her husband "What did he say, what
did he say?"
The man turns to his wife and said "He said I was speeding." The
officer then said "Where are you from?"
The man replied "Chicago"
The wife then says "What did he say, what did he say?"
The man turns to his wife and said, "He wanted to know where we came
from."
The officer then said "S**t, you know, I had my worst f**k ever in Chicago."
The lady then says "What did he say, what did he say?"
The man turns back and says "He says he thinks he knows you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Return From Really Funny Jokes To Home Page
NOTE: If you would like to add comments on the above article or if you know of any really funny jokes, we would be grateful and honored if you shared your thoughts and ideas in the "comment" section below.
Your Website Traffic: How to analyze and understand your website traffic |
Using Google Adsense: How to place ads in your website to earn an extra income |
When it’s Fruit Time Be a Monkey!: The amazing health benefits of bananas |
Why Choose MLM: The reasons you should be using the new business model |
Success In Your Direct Sales Business: 6 tips to help you make it in your MLM business |
My Uneducated Grandmother’s Advice about Lemon water: What the previous generations knew |
I Have a Fear: Are you afraid of failure, or maybe you are afraid of success |
Defining Successful: How you define successful is the key to your own success |
The Buying Cycle Stages: Everyone goes through stages when buying. Find out what they are |
Stop Procrastination: 8 ways to start doing the things that need to be done |
Benefits of Broccoli:The 6 main health benefits of this green miracle worker |
How To Measure Success: How to define your own meaning of success before you can measure it |
The Health Benefits of Garlic: Having smelly breath isn't that bad after all |
New! Comments
Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.